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Talk:Horagai clan
Can I get an opinion? As the title says, can I get anyone's opinion on this? I don't want this to just be a quincy Kawahiru clan, so I want to see what everyone else thinks of it. I am open to constructive critisism, so please be brutal if needed. Alright so far overall it looks good, though there are a few things you could do differently. When describing the prowess of the Quincy refrain from using words such as "insanely" or other modern vernacular that a teenager or a young adult would use to describe something. You want to come across as either...somewhat vague, and sagely in their exposition. Two-hundred years ago and likely before that, I doubt many Quincy had met with Captains as they do now, so comparing them to such seems odd, even more so with Aizen Sosuke. I would also refrain from marking them as royalty of the quincy, but instead, that they are descended from royalty AND are quincy, which is why the clan is considered so famous. Beyond having actual historical mention, they were also Quincy, further adding to their mysticism. However if you wish to retain their royalty then it should be because of one of several reasons: *They were the first Quincy family without enough political backing to spread their trade to others, outside of family lines, thus denoting them as "royalty" since they were considered the forebearers of the modern Quincy. *As I stated earlier they are actual royalty with Quincy power. Take more time to fluff the history, such as their rise to power, and how they maintained it. Were they ruthless? Kind? Did they hide their Quincy abilities? Did they share them publically? Just things to consider for now. Hope it helps. --- Illuminate Void (Talk) 19:59, June 18, 2011 (UTC) You refer to Reason, as Reason despite the fact that it was Madara Kawahiru who coined the term, and I dont think neither had very much contact. Thus it stands to reason (no pun in intended), that the Quincy of the Horagai Clan would have referred to it by a different name, probably a japanese or even German name. I know for the sake of explaining it, you and I know it as "Reason", but beyond being able to manipulate it in this fashion, if they were famous for it, then I think you should go into detail regarding the unique characteristics displayed by "Reason" or whatever it is the Horagai referred to it as, and why it was such a unique power. Any Quincy can create a field of reishi around them, and I doubt that it was the Horagai's Captain-like power that truly seperated them. The intent of the clan was that what set them apart was their unique affinity and ability to manipulate this mysterious force. Therefore, expanding on that would greatly add to this clan. You dont need to state that they were "amazingly powerful" or could draw reishi like those in "Letz Stil" as now it just seems like a clan of Super Quincy. So instead draw in the differences and practices, perhaps a few unique Quincy techniques passed down in this clan, like Hijutsu in Naruto. --- Illuminate Void (Talk) 19:49, June 20, 2011 (UTC)